Sunday, 24 April 2011

New Poll: Diabolical Attempts at a Scottish Accent

Well I enjoyed the last so I thought I'd give another poll a bash.  Before explaining what it's all about though, here are the results of our last poll- your favourite film set in Embra.

Greyfriars Bobby- 2%
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie- 0%
Restless Natives- 20%
Hallam Foe- 5%
Shallow Grave- 12%
Trainspotting- 40%
The Illusionist- 20%

Congratulations to Trainspotting- a worthy winner.  I don't think many of us will be surprised by the result; I caught it on telly last night and was as struck by its energy and relentless pace as the first time I saw it.  Interestingly for a comparative newcomer, The Illusionist picked up a very respectable 20%.  I was also pleased for the more than respectable showing of Restless Natives.  Was it the Big Country soundtrack?  Was it the cityscapes of the less scenic areas of Edinburgh?  Was it the way that it deals with the unfulfilled desire for adventure that lies in all of us?  Or was it the ongoing plug in the banner of this page?

So what next?  Well, in keeping with the Scottish theme I wanted to look at an area that has long bugged me- piss-poor attempts at Scottish accents.  This is a very personal issue for me; growing up in Englandshire I had many an annoying day as school mates took the piss out of my accent.  When I would then hear an atrocious Scottish accent on telly or at the pictures then it felt like a continuation of the piss-take.

There's a few good examples, but which is the worst?

Harrison Ford
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Best Line- "Wer her ta say tha tepistrees!"

I know it's not to be taken seriously but this really is poor.  Harrison Ford's 'Lord MacDonald' seems to have arrived in Austria via South Africa and possibly Russia.

Christopher Lambert
Best Line- "Em Canner Mclewd af tha Clen Mclewd"

Fish in a barrel but he had a more convincing highland accent in Greystoke- the Legend of Tarzan.

Mel Gibson
Best Line- "Freeeeeeeedom"

I quite like this one actually but I am under the impression I'm in the minority.  I have more problems with his hair extensions.

Jessica Lang
Rob Roy
Best Line- "Though I love his honour, 'tis but a shadow to the love I bear him."

Could have had my pick from this film but have plumped for Oscar winner Lange's Norwegian inflected effort.

Robert Duval
A Shot at Glory
Best Line- "It was me who had his dorrterr stohlen from him"

Hands up who actually saw this.  I thought as much.  Watch the trailer and I'm sure you'll agree that he merits a place on the short list, even if he is overshadowed by a performance from young Ally McCoist so bad that he somehow convinced me he wasn't a jokey womaniser.

Honourable mentions to Mike Myers in Shrek, Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire and James Doohan in Star Trek.  If you can come up with better suggestions early on then I may be inclined to add them.

Cast your votes!


  1. Can't believe nobody voted for Miss Brodie in the last poll. And I agree with you on Braveheart. Maybe just the emotion of remembering that while some of them individually may be friends, the reality is that the English are b*****ds right enough.

  2. Thanks for your comments, Gracie, and welcome to NPP. That's right, not a single vote for TPOMJB- would that have been your choice.

    I think Braveheart gets a bit of a hard time from a lot of Scots. Maybe it's those of us who have spent some time in exile who are more likely to feel the urge to charge at the English? The one criticism I can't stand is that it's not historically accurate- perhaps the topic for a future blog post...